goalless

My goal for fitness this month:

Don’t break.

It’s a kind of useless goal because it isn’t the kind of thing I have (much) control over. Yes, I can choose workouts that are less likely to drive my poor broken body to actual breaking, but — I (somehow) herniated a disc in my neck doing nothing (we still don’t know what caused it); I can’t really control when my body wants to get all worked up about its arthritis and when it’s gonna let it slide.

So maybe a better goal would be

Go. Consistently.

But that’s also a dangerous one. It’s dangerous to say “that’s out of my control” because I firmly believe that everyone has the time to do the things they want; they just have to choose priorities. But at the same time, some people – myself included – do have to be extra careful with resting their broken and pain-filled bodies in order to stay “as healthy as possible”; I can’t go to the gym consistently if the moving and painting that I’m doing triggers an episode in my lower back, for example. I’m better resting that than working it out.

So what do I pick for a goal?

Be healthier.

Good general thought, but really, too general.

Don’t stress and worry about it.

Actual LOLSOB.

Come to terms with your limitations.

Not acceptable.

Stop whining and just do it.

Last time I did that, I busted myself up even more.

ladskf;laksdf;lasdlkasd;laksd’.

The most appropriate.

I’m very tired of being broken and in pain. It makes me feel aimless, goalless, because so much of it is out of my control, and it’s so limiting in what I can do. I’d like to get back to running, to weight lifting, to training for things. I’d like to get back to consistency. I’d like to get back to having days where I’m not in pain (I’d prefer weeks but I get the feeling that’s too much to ask at the moment).

March is really pretty much shot – I’m moving into a new house right now and quite busy with repairs and upkeep – but for April, I want to have a couple simple goals.

1. Work out every other day. This seems to be a reasonable compromise for me between going enough to get results and resting enough that I don’t break.
2. Develop an actual plan. Initially I was on a four-workout cycle; after my surgery I lost track of that. I’d like to have an actual plan to follow so that I can start seeing developments and improvements.

Two simple things. And yet harder than you’d think.